Don't Wait!! Find Your Values Today.
Hi there _ I’m Stephy Steph and I’m a co-founder and podcaster on ‘Between Two Teeth’.
What is the importance of defining your own values? Every single human in this world will go through something in life that is difficult for the mind to process. Falling back on a healthy value system is one strategy to help you thrive during a time where even surviving seems impossible.
I’ve always followed the values instilled by my faith, my parents and my coaches. As a people pleaser, raise your hand if you are one, I also tended to match or mirror the values of whomever was in the room. I remembered thinking that when it came to authority figures in life, of course they knew better. What I found, is not all of these values have continued to serve me into my twenties and thirties. For example, if your parents value safety but you value adventure. If you are like me, as a child I felt it was very important to value what my parents valued. So in this example, that would mean even though I wanted to be adventurous, I valued safety and security instead. Another example would be that my religion valued commitment while I valued creativity and adaptability.
There are life consequences to embodying values that others select for you. How will you make big decisions for yourself, especially the most difficult decisions where both options have negative consequences? I leaned heavily on the value systems of others to make incredibly meaningful decisions in my life. On one hand I was scared, scared to make a mistake. When you know your values, you may still make mistakes, but living with the consequences of those mistakes is far better when you are living out values that you have defined for yourself.
There is power in a confident, value-driven human being. You know them when you meet them. These people know who they are, where they want to go and they don’t mind asking for help along the way. They want to make their communities, their country and/or the world a better place. They have purpose through self identified values that allows these leaders to thrive in the most trying circumstances.
You don’t have to downplay someone else’s value system and you can absolutely embody the values of your faith or your family. However, I encourage anyone reading this to ask themselves the tough questions. What or who would you die for? When in my life have I really felt proud, fulfilled or happy? Utilize some of these questions to begin to define your values. It’s okay if they don’t align with your spouse or family - you can still have a deep connection if you can communicate well.
Don’t be passive on your purpose. Our primary purpose should be to discover our own values (who we are) and our second should be to live a life out loud following those values. A value driven life has shown to lead to decreased risk of mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety and suicide. Studies have also demonstrated those following a set of self-identified values have higher resilience during tragedy than those with passively defined values. For more help on identifying your values check out this article from the Harvard Business Review.
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